


Haywire

by Ashley_vh



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, Insanity, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicidal Thoughts, carwash siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4813241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashley_vh/pseuds/Ashley_vh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Maybe they expected him to follow, rush off to fight her and protect the Director—the bastard.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He lays back slowly, resting against the bare bed.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Waiting.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>When they come for him, he’ll tell them what they want to hear.  “I don’t remember anything.”  He says the words, whispered into his helmet, over and over until they come without hesitation.  </i>
</p>
<p><i>Without deceit. </i><br/>***<br/>Or, A retelling of Agent Washington getting his AI in Project Freelancer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9/16/15

The silence is peaceful—should be.

Gentle blips are what he hears first.  Calm.  Steady.  Constant.   One right after another.

But nothing else.

No breathing.  No footsteps.  No talking.  No thoughts—no voices.

Like being underwater.  The only sound is a heartbeat that pulses through everything.

His breath brings new knives to cut through his skin.

Pain.

A lot like being held under water too long—steady growing ache in the chest, around the heart, spreading to his fingertips and toes, taking over everything.  Tighter and tighter until it strangled and ripped to pieces—crumpled to ash.

You don’t even notice the water anymore.  

Except, when water gets into the lungs, it doesn’t hurt.  Dying after that is easy.

He’s not that lucky.

The blips aren’t so gentle anymore.  The heat on his skin—under his skin—is too much to bear.  ~~~~

“There you are.” He sounds far away, echoing against linoleum floors.

The groan from deep in his chest is loud—earsplitting after the quiet, but a welcome escape from the silence. 

He must have made a sound other than a groan.   A question?

When the light fades, becomes bearable, he sees the twins on either side of the uncomfortable Med Bay bed.  The room spins, the ceiling lights weave back and forth like ocean waves and the lights dim as he tries to sit up.

“Slowly,” North says.  The hand, North’s hand guiding and comforting, on his shoulder is strong, keeping him steady. 

The sudden surge of hatred twists his gut and vanishes before his heart can thump out another beat. 

The warmth he knew North had is icy through his armor.  Cold and distant instead of warm and soothing.

His voice sounds distant in his ears, “How long was I out?” ~~~~

“Only a few days this time.”   He says it like a joke, with a laugh.  No, not a joke.  A comfort.

It takes too long to follow his words.  “This time?”

“Yup,” North says as he watches South shift her weight from one foot to the other.  She’s angry.  “After they removed it.”

Before he could stop himself, he touches where he should be.  “Removed it.”  He was alone now, he couldn’t stop them from hurting them—

Him.

He couldn’t stop the sound when that sunk in.

He didn’t say it like a question, but North answers anyway.  “It’s gone.” There is a little twist in his gut, “They’re gonna remove all of them.”  He claps him on the shoulder, lightly, but it still shoves him forward just a little, “Started with you.”

South starts to speak, saying something with a bitter tone, but he doesn’t listen.  The bed beside him is empty.  “What about Carolina?”

North is hesitating.  Doesn’t want to answer.  “Carolina’s had it kind of rough,” he says finally, looking away through his helmet.  “Director’s considering sending her to hunt down Texas.”

Texas.  The name is like drowning.  “Hunt her down?”  His mind is slow, foggy and distant.  He doesn’t listen to the Twin’s bickering. 

_Don’t say goodbye._

_They’re waiting for me._

_You’ll see me again._

_How can you say this wasn’t my fault?!_

_Don’t say goodbye_

_Don’t say goodbye_

_Don’t—_

South’s voice is sharp.  Cold.  “She’s not a fucking monster, North.” 

She isn’t.  Texas—

“You guys are giving me a headache,” He says, interrupting his thoughts, there is a throb at the base of his skull.

They are quiet, the beeping is slow again, and his mind is too silent.  “How much do you remember, Wash?” North pauses until Wash looks up from following patterns in the tile floor, “From the AI.”

_Everything._  “Nothing.” He says quietly, “The last thing I remember is the Counselor telling me not to eat.”

The silence is almost relieved, and he doesn’t need to see North’s face to know he thinks that that was a blessing.  It probably is.

Too bad it’s a lie.

“Rest,” North gives the order in that gentle, cold tone.  “Once they find Texas, they’ll bring her back.”

No they won’t.  Unless she wanted to be brought—

“INTRUDER ALERT.  BREACH IN SECURITY.  LEVEL ZERO.”  The alarm doesn’t bother him.  She was good.  Stay out of her way, she’ll leave him be.  But the twins both left.  Rushing off in different directions. 

Maybe they expected him to follow, rush off to fight her and protect the Director—the bastard.

He lays back slowly, resting against the bare bed.

Waiting.                  

When they come for him, he’ll tell them what they want to hear.  “I don’t remember anything.”  He says the words, whispered into his helmet, over and over until they come without hesitation. 

Without deceit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way it happened in the show wasn't how I wanted it to go down. So I wrote fanfic.
> 
> Thanks to [Katie](http://bouncykatie.tumblr.com/) who peer pressured me into writing this and to [Kay-Kay](http://osh-my-prince.tumblr.com/) for checking my grammar :D  
> [My Tumblr](http://ashley-vh.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12/11/15

“I think York is cheating,” he said, throwing his cards on the comforter in front of him.

Delta appeared in the air in front of York, “Could it be, Agent Washington, that you are just not skilled at this particular game?”

The other freelancers laughed at that, spurred on by the alcohol in their bellies while trying to stay quiet.   York scoffed when he said, “ice cold, D.”

Wash only stared at the small green AI.  For things that supposedly didn’t feel emotions, Delta sure seemed to love making fun of him.

Before he could properly respond, Theta, who was practicing tossing tiny fireworks into the air on the side of the bed, gasped and zipped past Wash and across the room, as far as he could get from North.  Wash, York, North, and Delta watched him stop beside the wall.  “Agent Washington!”  Theta said, “Do you know any tricks?”  he asked, pointing to the skateboard on the wall.

“Tricks?”  Wash asked, turning away from the game to watch as Theta moved around the board, examining it the best he could.

Theta nodded beside the wall without looking up at Wash.

Wash looked at North for a split second, getting a little nod with a soft smile, and stood.  “Do you want me to show you one?”  He asked.  It’ll do him good to focus on something other than the ticking of the clock on the wall.

Theta whipped back to near Wash’s shoulder, “Can you?  Please?”  The AI was practically bouncing as he spoke.  He asked the way a child would have, amazed and curious.

“Sure.”  Wash carefully kicked the board to the ground and stepped onto it.

“You don’t have a lotta room in here, Wash.”  York said, kicking a dirty tee shirt across the room at him.

He caught it against his stomach, “I don’t need a lot of room, York.”  Theta was watching him in anticipation.

The carpet and lack of space made it impossible for him to show the AI anything really cool, but maybe next time.

So something simple.  He spaced his feet out a little more and let his toes hang off the board a bit.  Without much warning, he bent down, jumping up and kicking down on the tail of the board and scooping forward so the board spun under him. 

He brought his front foot down just in time to catch the board so it would land wheels-down and tried not to swing his arms around too ridiculously.

The skateboard wheels slammed against the thin carpet loudly, and Theta cheered.  “That was awesome!”  He said, clapping his hands, “Can you do it again?”

“Maybe later Theta,” North said with an endearing tone, “Don’t want anyone to break up the party too early.”

He was right. 

It didn’t stop Theta from saying, “Aw, man.”  And return to his spot on the edge of the bed beside North.

Wash’s procedure was tomorrow morning.  Bright and early.  He was supposed to be resting. 

Instead, just after the last official training session had ended, North and York knocked on his bedroom door holding alcohol and pizza and a deck of cards.  He wasn’t sure where they found it all on the _Mother of Invention_ , but Wash was convinced it was all there specifically to torment him—he wasn’t allowed to have food or drink other than water until he woke up from the surgery tomorrow afternoon.

“Come on, Wash,” York said, bringing his attention back to the game at hand.  “You in or what?”  he said, tossing cards to his spot.

He kicked the skateboard up and leaned it back on the wall and returned to the game just in time for York to scoop up the deck and start playing again.

They played in relative silence for a little while longer, tossing coins and cards in the middle of Wash’s bed.  The silent companionship was almost enough to make him completely relax for the first time since Carolina freaked out.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Wash.”  North commented, tossing a few coins into the pot.  “Are you nervous?”

“No.”  His answer was too quick, too tense at North’s sudden question, he knew better than that.  “I’m not nervous.”  He said, forcing his voice to be calm.

They laughed, quietly, trying to stay quiet, and York scoffed a little “awww,”stretching out the word.  “Little rookie’s nervous.”

That made them laugh louder, though North had the decency to try to stop laughing at Wash.

“ha ha.”  Wash said, keeping the humor out of his voice completely.  They were teasing, he knew that, but that didn’t mean it didn’t make his eye twitch a little.

It looked like York was going to say something else, but before the soldiers had even stopped chuckling at him, there was a light knock on the door.  Three taps in quick succession. 

Simultaneously, they all fell silent and looked at the door like they expected to be able to see who was on the other side.

When none of them said anything, the little taps came again, “Agent Washington,” said the calm voice. “May I come in?”

The two AI vanished and York nudged him, reminding him that he actually needed to answer the Counselor.  “uh” he said, following the lead of the older soldiers as they stood, backs straight and hands at their sides, “come in.”  he said.

Immediately, the door opened and the Counselor walked in Wash’s room.  He was silent as he took in North, York, and the card game on the bed.  “I hope you’re not eating any of that, Agent Washington.”  He said, gesturing to the pizza box, empty, on the floor.

“No, sir.”  He said, “No food, no nothing the night before the operation.”  He recited it like he was reading it from a script that the doctor had given him.

“I’m glad to hear it.”  The Counselor said, “Are you nervous about the operation tomorrow?”  he was fishing for something and Wash didn’t know what.

“No.  What’s there to be nervous of?” 

“Not even after what happened with Agent Carolina?” The Counselor asked in his unnaturally calm voice.

Wash looked at the ground, “No.  What happened with her was an unforeseen occurrence.”  It was almost exactly what they had said after Carolina was stable in the med bay.  Unforeseen complication of having two AI inside the human mind.

Wash was having a hard enough time not freaking out at _one_ AI.  He couldn’t imagine two.

“Good,” the Counselor said.  “If you’re sure you’re alright, you really should get some rest, Agent Washington.  You have a big day tomorrow.”  He left, the door snapped shut behind him and all of the soldiers relaxed.

Before Wash could sit back down, North spoke, “You really should get some rest.”  He gathered his small stack of coins and clapped Wash on the shoulder and opened the bedroom door, followed soon after by York.

York paused, though, right beside him.  “You know you don’t have to go through with this, right?”  he said slowly, putting a hand on Wash’s shoulder in what was probably supposed to be a supportive gesture.

It was just really condescending.

“I’m fine.”  Wash said, shrugging his shoulders and shrugging off York’s hand.  “There’s nothing to be worried about.”

York almost looked disappointed.

“Wait wait wait,” Theta said, appearing at North’s shoulder and jumping up and down like an excited child.  “I wanted to show my new trick to Agent Washington.”

North smiled and pulled the door shut again.  Theta whooped a little and turned to York and Wash.  “Ok.” He said, more to himself than any of the soldiers.  Then a tiny purple skateboard appeared at his side, floating along with him.

Theta carefully stepped on his board, steadying himself when the wheels moved and perfectly mimicked Wash’s trick that he showed to the AI, the skateboard landing in the air silently, just as Theta’s feet landed on the board.

Theta stumbled a little as he stepped off the board and kicked it up, just like Wash did.  Theta took a little theatrical bow, and the board vanished from his grip as York clapped. 

“That’s great, kiddo,” North said, still sounding impressed even though he’d probably seen little tricks from Theta dozens of times.

Wash nodded, “That’s awesome, Theta!” 

Theta looked down, bashful at all the attention.  “thanks.  I worked really hard on it.” 

If all the AI were as sweet as Theta or as smart as Delta, this operation wouldn’t have him nearly so worried.

North spoke up again, “We really should get going.”

Theta zipped back to North’s shoulder, “Good luck, Agent Washington.”  He said in his bright and happy voice before vanishing. 

With one last clap on the shoulder, York followed North out of the room.  And he was alone.

Wash just sort of crumpled onto his bed like a puppet with his strings cut.  He ran his hands through his hair, pulling the strands until it hurt a little.  He’s really nervous. 

Now that he’s all alone, it’s all he can think about.

Carolina was still in the Infirmary.   She hadn’t woken up yet, and it’s been _days_ since she screamed in that training room.  He’d never heard her scream like that.  Not once for any broken bone or the border-line torturous pain that she once went through when they were captured. 

She hadn’t really _screamed_ when they were torturing her.  It was more of a groan that she held back until she could return their attacks and more.

But with those AI in her head, she screamed and it made Wash’s heart hurt for her.

He could almost feel the panic attack setting in.

Slowly, he gathered the cards strewn across his bed.   They taught a class on how to deal with panic attacks.  Things like breathing deeply and counting to ten, stuff like that.

It was about being captured in battle and not betraying freelancer secrets in a blind panic, but the lessons still apply.

Controlled breathing.  He was never very good at that part.  But focusing on something else?  That’s always been easy.

He focused entirely on gathering those cards, slowly stacking them and setting them on the table.  Then he gathered the coins and put them in the cloth bag he kept under the bed.  He moved slowly as he pulled his blankets back and laid back, stretching his stiff muscles and letting the slight ache focus him away from the anxiety.

Wash was methodical and his heart beat slower by the minute.  He was quickly becoming tired and the darkness seemed to be getting thicker.

He didn’t really notice when he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never been on or even touched a skateboard in my life, I found that trick on YouTube, I hoped I wrote it ok.


End file.
